Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Best Carnie That Never Was

In my ever evolving quest to learn more about the various carnies of the world, I recently came upon the unusual tale of Juan Baptista dos Santos.  Santos was born in 1843 in Southern Portugal.  He was born with 2 penises... and 3 testicles... and an 8 toed, 2 heeled 3rd leg.

I'm gonna let you digest that for a moment....  Here is a visual to help you out.

Go on... Take your time.

Ready for the next part?

Santos could not only pee out of both, but fuck with them too.  In fact, he could finish one dick up and continue with the other.  It is said that he also had quite the appetite for sex.  Which pretty much goes without saying.  I mean, most guys think about it nonstop with only 1 dick.  You add another with an extra ball thrown in there for good measure, and you've pretty much created a monster.

Ass wiping was probably quite the challenge.

But don't worry, guys... He had a special sling made so that he could continue to be active.  He liked to ride horses.  Not fuck them... Just ride them.  Calm down and get your mind out of the gutter.

And although Santos had a plethora of offers to join various carnivals and circuses, the Man stayed strong and just said no.  Because He is better than that. 


You're welcome.

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