Monday, March 12, 2012

How Mannequin Hands Paid for Themselves in 24 Hours

Conversation between me and my husband 2 weeks ago:

Me:  Eddie!!! What's your credit card number???!??!

Eddie: ... sigh... Why?

Me:  I found imperfect mannequin hands on sale!!!!

Eddie:  What are you going to do with Mannequin Hands????


Coffee anyone??
So the order was placed through a Mannequin parts wholesaler under a false company I created.  (Since they wouldn't just sell them to me.)  I waited ever so patiently for them to arrive.  Then the day came!!!  The Mannequin Hands arrived on ON EDDIE’S FUCKING BIRTHDAY!!!!  

Happy Birthday, Eddie!
And then… Then the merriment began.  And there was much to be had!!!

"So nice to meet you!"
OMG!! There's someone trapped in the couch!!
Mannequin Hands ROCK at Skyrim!
Even though there was a great amount of joy enjoyed by all, Eddie was still not convinced of the usefulness of the Mannequin Hands.  Luckily, we were to go to a horror convention that weekend, and I was determined as all hell to show him just what Mannequin Hands can do under the control of the right person……

Fun. Art. Mannequin Hands.
 And that’s when I decided to ask Anthony Michael Hall to sign one of my Mannequin Hands.  You know Anthony Michael Hall, right?

Breakfast Club

Weird Science

Dead Zone

Of course you do!

We waited on line for about 10 minutes before finally making it up to meet him.

Anthony Michael Hall:  How are you doing today?

Me:  Wonderful!! Will you sign my Mannequin Hand?

AMH:  Um.. Yea! Of course I will! Wow! I just gotta ask… What’s with the Mannequin Hand?

Eddie:  Don’t even ask…

Me:  Absolutely nothing!! I just love Mannequin Hands!!

AMH:  Well.. This was a great idea!! Thank you, Valerie!! Thank you for letting me sign your Mannequin Hand!!

And this is what he wrote….

"Touch Me Valerie - Anthony Michael Hall"
You're Welcome, Anthony Michael Hall.
With all the excitement of the Mannequin Hand Awesomeness, I totally forgot to hug Anthony Michael Hall… Which made me really sad because he was totally huggable!  Luckily, that was not our last encounter with Mr. Hall.

But first, this happened… 

I don't want to talk about this... ever.

The cast of The Blair Witch Project also LOVED Mannequin Hands!!! I TOLD YOU EDDIE!!!

Fast forward to midnight… Me.  Eddie.  Midnight Rocky Horror Picture showing.  And in walks Anthony FUCKING Michael Hall holding a corona with his entourage looking happy as hell to be there!!!  Front row seats!  A chick on his lap!  Dancing on stage with a Sweet Transvestite!  

Fucking. Hero.
On his way out, I decided to hug him (with permission of course!! Because I’m not going back to the Big House.. Not again.. Not ever!)  Not only did he hug me back, he whispered ever so gently in my ear “That’s right, mama… Hug it out…”  And that’s when I knew this man should be president… or at the very least be close and personal friends with me…

And then, on the ride home, Eddie says: