Sunday, February 26, 2012

Monday wants to eat your soul...

No person in their right mind likes Mondays...  Not unless you love your job that is.  And, being an office worker, I do NOT!  Monday means me sitting in a box all day, not seeing the light of day, listening to idiots complain about crap, watching the clock mark the hours of my life wasted away.  But, just because we are miserable, we shouldn't give Monday the satisfaction of winning.  I've decided that if we let Monday win, it will eat our happiness and our souls.  It's what it wants... It's the reason for it being here. 

Optimists see this as chocolate.  Pessimists see poo. 

Monday is like a dog that keeps on coming back because you leave food on your doorstep.  You feel bad for it.  But, unlike the adorableness of a dog, Monday is really like that alien in The Thing.  You think you're saving a dog, but really there's a disgusting mutant life-form that will grow tentacles and eat all your friends.  Then It will shape-shift to look just like you.  It will take over your life.  WE MUST NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!!! STAY TOGETHER! SLEEP IN SHIFTS!!!  Remember... if you let Monday eat your soul... THE TERRORISTS WIN!!

Monday...  It will eat you alive in your sleep.

So, instead...  Here is a picture of a taxidermied bear I saw with a friend on the parkway this weekend.  Yes, it's tied to the back of a pickup truck going 80 mph down the highway.  And yes...  yes that is a twinkle in its eye.  I like to think of the tarp as a cape.  He's a fucking superhero!

I can Fly, Motherfuckers!!!  I'm living the dream!!

Hold on to the dream that is Friday... We will get through this together.

<3

Valerie

2 comments:

  1. Listen...I saw the poo...and all I see is a dead fucking bear in the back of the truck. Although he kind of looks like he is wearing a Jesus robe. Maybe he will arise and maul the ass-hat that killed and stuffed him. Now that is a glass half full thought to get me through the week!

    Mishka
    Fer some reason I can't log in under my profile, and since it is Monday my brain is farting away and cannot figure it out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I saw the poo too. In fact, I would bet money that only children see chocolate because they don't yet realize the horrors of real life. That shit doesn't happen until you get a job. Hence Mondays... Mondays MAKE you see the poo. It's THAT evil.

      I hope he resurrects on Easter whilst the Dad is hiding an egg in its mouth. :oD

      I'm sure you can't log into your profile because its Monday. This site doesn't work properly on that day... because Monday's an asshole.

      <3

      Valerie

      Delete