Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Edible Undies Experiment

1. Obtain a package of Edible Undies for $4.95 plus tax
Strawberry Champagne flavored... Because we've got class

2. Have Nicole over carrying 2 bottles of Pimms on her person
3. Drink 1 bottle 

Go out and get some.

4. Sunbathe
5. Eat cheeseburgers
6. Drink 0.5 bottles
7. Decide more Pimms are needed
8. Call various liquor stores asking if they carry Pimms.  Maintain a British accent.  Do not giggle.
9. Get more Pimms.

All the fucking time.

10. Drink 1 bottle of Pimms
11. Have Nicole's fiance show up
12. Give Nicole's fiance a glass of Pimms... and... shots of tequila... and... vodka
13. Drink a bottle of Pimms
14. Shit gets real


15. Stuuuuuuuffff
16. Nicole's fiance falls asleep
17. Break out the Edible Undies and pose the box on his face


18. Giggle madly
19. Open box and carefully take out undies which seem to be made of a thin fruit roll up
20. Undies break immediately

If Only we got this far...  If only..

21. Be pissed
22. Play with parts of panties
23. Put panties on sleeping fiance


24. Giggle madly
25. Play tug with panties
26. Take bite of panties
27. Dry heave at how utterly disgusting they are
28. Spit panties out
29. Vow to the gods that edible panties will never again touch your lips... either of them
30. Wake up the next day hung over and wondering why your lips are so red 

Never. Again.

And that, my friends, is why you should just make your own panties out of fruit roll ups.  But that experiment is for another day....

1 comment:

  1. I hazard to guess what would happen if you guys ever got your hands on a sex swing.

    ... but if you ever do, make sure to take pictures.