You didn’t really think about that did you? I mean, at first, you won’t. I doubt anyone will. Sex is the last thing on the mind after you just watched your Grandma claw her way out of her casket and bite into the head of Uncle Johnny. Sure.. There may be in incident now and then when it comes to mind. I know how the blood gets pumping after a particular exhilarating zombie chase. You, a hoard of now debrained zombies, the heat of battle… Things happen.
But lets be honest.. Nothing gets the population going like surviving a horrid event. Sooner or later, sexy time will come to mind. But how? With whom? There will be no bar crawling, no singlesmatch.com. You’ll have to meet people in the field.. or.. rely on yourself. And lets face it. Banging some dude you just saved from a couple of stripper zombies probably isn’t the best idea. Not unless you want him following you around like a little puppy. This is exactly why you’ll want to keep a vibrator among your survival items. Do the research now, people! Because when the day comes, you wont have much time to stop at your local adult store. In fact, I doubt you would want to visit there anyway. The gross zombies you may come across there aren’t worth it. Not to mention that the selection would probably be dismal.
Like a good Zombie Apocalypse Survivor, you are going to want to plan ahead of time. Good planning is the key to survival.. You’ll want something that’s not a battery hog.. Something quiet but fun. And, if at all possible, something that can double as a weapon. Cuz, lets be honest, you never know…
<3
Valerie
That brings my next question.... if there were a zombie apocolypse, eventually all the batteries would be gone.... any solar powered or alternate energy toys out there? and I swear to god Nicole didn't put me up to this question
ReplyDeleteThat's a great question!! And congratulations on another step towards being prepared for the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse! Yes, there are solar powered vibrators available in the market. I've even seen a crank powered one! Unfortunately, they are newer to the industry and lack selection. Another option would be to purchase a solar powered battery recharger. There are many available and are not too expensive. You can get a damn good one for under $30 that will recharge a plethora of different types of batteries. This would not only keep your vibrator running at full capacity, but also equally important things, such as flashlights, etc. :0)
ReplyDeleteMatt Shanley via Jennie Price
ReplyDelete"The "doubles as a weapon" thing has me thinking Vibrator/Tazer or the "Vibrazer." Get the patent office on the phone. What could go wrong?"
We think Matt missed his calling as a sex toy weapons creator. If he ever wants to team up with Purr Purr Pussycat for a specialty line, we wouldn't say no.
ReplyDelete