The Edible Undies Experiment

1. Obtain a package of Edible Undies for $4.95 plus tax
 

Strawberry Champagne flavored... Because we've got class

2. Have Nicole over carrying 2 bottles of Pimms on her person
3. Drink 1 bottle 

Go out and get some.

4. Sunbathe
5. Eat cheeseburgers
6. Drink 0.5 bottles
7. Decide more Pimms are needed
8. Call various liquor stores asking if they carry Pimms.  Maintain a British accent.  Do not giggle.
9. Get more Pimms.

All the fucking time.

10. Drink 1 bottle of Pimms
11. Have Nicole's fiance show up
12. Give Nicole's fiance a glass of Pimms... and... shots of tequila... and... vodka
13. Drink a bottle of Pimms
14. Shit gets real

Exactly.

15. Stuuuuuuuffff
16. Nicole's fiance falls asleep
17. Break out the Edible Undies and pose the box on his face

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

18. Giggle madly
19. Open box and carefully take out undies which seem to be made of a thin fruit roll up

20. Undies break immediately

If Only we got this far...  If only..

21. Be pissed
22. Play with parts of panties
23. Put panties on sleeping fiance

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

24. Giggle madly
25. Play tug with panties

26. Take bite of panties
27. Dry heave at how utterly disgusting they are
28. Spit panties out
29. Vow to the gods that edible panties will never again touch your lips... either of them
30. Wake up the next day hung over and wondering why your lips are so red 

Never. Again.

And that, my friends, is why you should just make your own panties out of fruit roll ups.  But that experiment is for another day....

WTF China, Seriously???

Let us begin here......

  

OK now once we have all stopped our giggles & mocking we should make clear on the fact, yes:  that is a   pussy. It is a male sex toy. In their defense at certain angles it does look like a mushroom. The color, the dirt stains.... but wow. Wow. Given the fact that China produces about 80% of the world's sex toys what the fuck is wrong with these people?

 My favorite quotes:
1. we dug out this meaty object. ( that's what she said)
2. it has eyes and a nose

Have these people ever seen a vagina??? I wonder because that thing has a clit & labia. Come on, they measured it!!! This might be the greatest news story since that stripper at Hot22  was collecting human body parts from a Med Student client. (I would have taken those parts too, honey.. i was rooting for you.)
I also love the part about how the Emperor used the herb/mushroom in his mixture for longevity. I don't need to make a joke here. That is all you my blogy friends.




 

Edible Panties Confuse and Scare Me

Ok... I've never actually tried them, per say.  But I have never really understood them.  So, I'm throwing this out to the masses...  And I have to ask:  What's the point?!?  Seriously.  Instead of eating my panties, you could be eating something else.  (wink, wink)

Even the package screams "I TASTE LIKE OLD SOCKS AND VAGINA!"

In fact, I'm pretty sure that they would taste god awful.  Especially if you've been wearing them all day.  Like swamp ass.  And, do they melt?  If I wear them for a while before sexual escapades?! 

Ok... These don't look half bad.  I'll give them that.

I should really do some research on this.  In fact, I will go out this weekend and buy some edible panties and wear them around.  Then I'll make Eddie eat them.

See?!?  He's holding ROSES!!! This is obviously delicious.

OR I just may fashion myself a pair out of red licorice laces.  Then I'll eat them.  Either way, I'll report back. ;o)

Good thing I learned to knit last winter!!!

This post just got weird didn't it?  You know you were all thinking it...  I'm sorry I'm not sorry.

Today we celebrate...

our vaginas!

    

 Thank you, Amy for introducing us to this little number. We love you & your vagina.

More from Kaitlin the official N.V Doula

 Some of you may remember Kaitlin Lee ~ Doula In Training from THIS POST. Well Kaitlin has started her own blog. It can be found at  DOWNRIGHT DOULA.

       In her own words she created this blog because "I have so much that I want to share in regards to pregnancy, birth, motherhood, parenting, hospital birth, home birth, unassisted birth, midwifery, doula work, and MORE. It's important to me that I share as much information with you as possible in the topics mentioned, among other things."

    Knowing Kaitlin & how passionate she is about these topics, I know this blog will be full of great & difficult information. It will also be explained in a way anyone can understand. She will also cover subjects related to births that are not to widely discussed.  Please pass the word along & help her out. 

  She also has a new business facebook page for her doula work which can be found HERE. So check her out. Especially if you are expecting, know someone who is expecting or you have kiddies of your own. Dads get in on this too.

Congratulations Kaitlin & Good Luck! Love, your friends at N.V.