Things that make you go hmmmmm.....

There are a lot of weird sex toys out there.  And we all have our own things in which we like.  Some people like to dress up as ponies and fuck each other...  Some people like clown sex...  Hell, some people even like to have sex in missionary position only, with the lights off...  Who am I to judge?

We don't judge... Unless it's really fucked up.  Then, we judge.

But some times, you come across things that make you think "What. The. Fuck. Man!!!!"  Here are a few for your visual pleasures... 

When Twilight goes too far

In case you didn't know.... That's a VAGINA in a FOOT.  Way worse than a splinter.

This one reminds me of Nightmare on Elm St.  "I'm your boyfriend now, NANCY!!!"

In case you get hungry...  for a fucking...

Baby Ruth?

This whole "mustache" thing is getting out of hand.

And my personal favorite.  Because sometimes you are way too good to fuck a mouth or an ear.  Sometimes you need to fuck a severed head...  IN THE NECK!!

I told you it existed, Nicole!  WTF MAN!!

Racists should probably watch Twilight instead of Hunger Games

Those of you who know me know that I am a huge Hunger Games fan.  I read the books.  I’ve seen the movie.  I have a t-shirt.  Hell… I’m even taking archery lessons.  (Although that has more to do with Zombie Apocalypse training than anything).

Fan-fucking-tastic!!!!

Nicole recently brought THIS article to my attention.  It shows tweets and comments from people who were upset because there were black people in the movie.  They even had the gall to state that this did not coincide with the book.  

What.  The.  Fuck.

Did these fucking idiots read the same book as me?!?  Is there some kind of Nazi version where everyone is white with blue eyes and blonde hair?  Did I miss something?  The book clearly describes the characters Rue and Thresh as having “dark brown skin”.  I mean…  Its WRITTEN right there!  If you're confused, go back to your copy of the book and give it another looksee.. Or.. Maybe actually read the book this time instead of jumping on the band wagon of the next popular thing.   The fact that these assholes were surprised is beyond me.  And the fact that this actually “ruined” the movie for some makes me sad for humanity as a whole. 

The little girl who plays Rue is literally one of the most adorable kids ever.  I want to pop her on my shoulders and walk around with her.  Of course, I would train her, over time, to mock people and throw rotten fruit at them… But lets not get ahead of ourselves.   

That's right, Rue... You tell 'em. Now, get the oranges & rocks to throw.

 

Some people said that her death was not as sad because of the color of her skin.  But… Like… They put this shit on the internet for all to see.  I mean… WOW!  You might as well just write “I’m a stupid asshole” for all your friends and family to see.  However, I’ve got a sneaky suspicion that they already know.  

Exactly.

Its one thing to not give two shits about a character because the part is not acted well or the story sucks.  But the fact that they based this whole opinion because of the color of a little girl’s skin is a bit sad.  

The character Cinna is not described in the book as any race that I can remember.  So, Lenny Kravitz is a fine choice.  He did a fantastic job with the part, playing Cinna exactly how shit went down in my head when I read the book.  However, I honestly pictured John Cho from Harold and Kumar, so the movie industry kind of owes me for that one.  But I'll let it pass, since Cho is in the Total Recall remake.

Kravitz is just badass enough to play the perfect Cinna.

And don’t get me started on my love for Woody Harrelson…. That, my friends, is a whole other article that I promise to give you one day in the future.  My ode shall be epic and discussed for minutes to come.

Woody Harrelson playing my Soulmate in Zombieland

 

But I digress…

Maybe the people who hated the movie for such pitiful reasons should GO THE FUCK BACK TO WATCHING TWILIGHT!!!

That's a lot of white vamps...