50 Shades Darker... is the stain in my pants...

Before I start, I must first tell you of a conversation I had with my doctor a few months ago after he did some routine blood work.

Doctor Brown:  Well, Valerie... Everything looks really good.  Except you have pretty high testosterone... for a woman.

Me:  That's really not surprising...

Doctor Brown:  Um... It's still pretty normal.  There's nothing wrong with it.  I just thought you should know.  Why is it not surprising?

Me:  You should see the size of my penis.

Doctor Brown:  .....

Me:  Sorry...  But you kinda had that coming.

So, I literally have a doctor's note that exempts me from liking romance novels.  And that's pretty much what this trilogy is.  Just with more sex.  That being said, I still really liked it.  It took me a little longer to get through because I realized that it is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for me to read this book with PMS.  Seriously... I just get really fucking angry at everything.  

Anyway, let's recap...

Christian... in my mind (and pants)

My choice for Ana

Look at these two... They should fucking date in real life.  I feel like I should make it my life mission for this to happen.

Anyway... Without giving away much of plot, these are my thoughts on book 2:

1. Lots more sex.  It's dirty and naughty and I loved every minute of it.  I tried telling Eddie about it and he responded with "Sounds like a Saturday night at the Nunez house..."  Touche, Mr. Nunez... Touche indeed. 
2. I NEED A PAIR OF SILVER BALLS!!!!!!
3. Other places, besides work, that I should never read this book:  hair salon, dr's office, movie theater line (waiting to see the Avengers of all things!!!), kids dance class waiting room (because it WILL be awkward when other parents walk in with their kids.).
4. I NEED A PAIR OF SILVER BALLS!!!!!
5. I NEED A PAIR OF SILVER BALLS!!!!!!!!

In case you're wondering about the silver balls...  Imagine walking around all day with these in your nether region.  Because Christian made Ana.  And. It. Was. Awesome.

Why Yes, Christian... I will marry you.

 Also, besides the sexy time extravaganza that goes down in this book, the storyline takes a look into Christian's past.  And that did something unthinkable to me after I read the first book...  It made me actually care about Christian... and the relationship between our two lovers.  Well played, James.  Well played indeed.

I will be reading the third book after a quick side venture to Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. (Because how could I not read about a vampire killing ex-president!!!)  I'll give you guys a full report on the last book next month! :o)